The Gift of Preparation: Why Pre-Planning Your Funeral Matters
Pre-planning a funeral means deciding the arrangements you want — burial or cremation, the kind of service, where your remains will rest, and a budget — and writing them down for your family. It spares them decisions made under time pressure and grief, and lets you compare prices calmly. Pre-planning does not mean you must pay in advance: the Federal Trade Commission notes you can make arrangements without prepaying, and that prepaid plans need careful checking because state protections vary.
What should a funeral plan include?
- Disposition: burial, cremation, green burial, body donation, or another option available in your state.
- Final resting place: a cemetery plot, columbarium niche, scattering site or burial at sea. The FTC suggests choosing cemetery property ahead of time, because families often have to buy it in a hurry after a death.
- The service: funeral, memorial or celebration of life; religious or not; who should lead it; music, readings and speakers.
- Practical details: clothing, an obituary draft, people to notify, veterans' honors if eligible (see our VA burial benefits guide).
- A budget, and how it will be paid.
- Digital accounts: who should handle email, photos and social media (see our digital legacy guide).
How to pre-plan, step by step
- Talk to your family about what you want and why. Surprises cause conflict later.
- Compare at least two funeral homes. Under the FTC Funeral Rule they must give you prices by phone and an itemized General Price List in person, and you may choose only the items you want.
- Choose and, if you wish, buy cemetery property or decide on scattering or another resting place.
- Write your wishes down. Give copies to your family and, if you have one, your attorney.
- Review the plan every few years. Prices change, funeral homes change hands and wishes change.
Where should I keep my wishes?
Not only in your will: the FTC points out that a will may not be read until after the funeral. Do not keep the only copy in a safe deposit box either, since your family may not be able to open it on a weekend or holiday. Keep the original somewhere your family can reach, and give copies to the people who will make the arrangements.
Should I prepay for my funeral?
Prepaying can lock in choices and spare your family the cost, but it carries risks. Each state regulates prepaid ("preneed") funeral contracts differently; some require part of the money to be held in a regulated trust or funded through an insurance policy, while the FTC warns that some states offer little or no effective protection. Before paying anything, the FTC suggests asking:
- Exactly what is covered — merchandise only (a casket or vault), or services too?
- What happens to the money, and what does your state require?
- Who keeps any interest earned if the money is held in trust?
- Are you protected if the funeral home goes out of business?
- Can you cancel and get a full refund if you change your mind?
- What happens if you move, or die away from home? Some plans transfer, sometimes at extra cost.
Tell your family about any prepaid plan and where the contract is kept. If they do not know about it, they may pay for the same arrangements again.
How much should I budget?
For a sense of scale, the National Funeral Directors Association's 2023 study put the national median for a funeral with viewing and burial at $8,300 (before a vault and cemetery costs) and for a funeral with viewing and cremation at $6,280. Simpler choices such as direct cremation cost considerably less. Our funeral cost breakdown lists each item.
Our free AI Planning Assistant can turn your choices into a written plan you can share with your family.
Sources
People Also Ask
What is the difference between pre-planning and prepaying?
Pre-planning means deciding and writing down your arrangements. Prepaying means paying a provider in advance. The FTC notes you can pre-plan without prepaying, and that you should review your plan every few years.
Is money in a prepaid funeral plan protected?
It depends on your state. Some states require funds to be held in a regulated trust or funded through insurance; the FTC warns that some states offer little or no effective protection. Ask what happens if the funeral home closes and whether you can cancel for a full refund.
Should I put my funeral wishes in my will?
Not only there. A will is often read after the funeral. Write your wishes in a separate document, give copies to your family, and do not keep the only copy in a safe deposit box.